Choices
by clafount
Summary: When the new Arl of Redcliffe and the Warden Commander Elissa Cousland encounter each other at a celebration in her honor, their past choices affect them in unexpected and passionate ways. One shot.


Elissa slid behind a tall hedge and stepped into the hidden alcove off the main courtyard. She immediately took a long and deep breath of the cool night air. She could practically taste the saltwater in the coastal breeze that caressed her hot skin. Her closely cropped hair was damp with sweat; she shuddered as another gentle gust wafted over her, sending a slight chill down her bare neck and shoulders.

She let her shoulders slump as she leaned against the cool stone of the short stone wall and looked down into the town of Highever below. It seemed all was quiet in the small coastal town.

_Half the town is in the main hall_, she thought with a rueful smile.

She rubbed her neck and tried to force her body to relax. Her muscles ached from keeping her posture ramrod straight all night. She lifted her arms above her head and stretched luxuriously. She was in this less than dignified position when she heard a voice behind her.

"My lady…I wondered if I might find you here."

Elissa whirled and couldn't help letting a gasp escape her lips. She thought no one would have been able to find her on this little balcony, hidden as it was by tall hedges. But Bann Teagan—he must have followed her when she left the main hall.

_No,_ she mentally corrected herself._It's_Arl_Teagan now. And don't be ridiculous. You're not the center of the world…_

She stiffened for a moment, trying to regain her more formal bearing, but her shoulders screamed at her in protest, so she relaxed and shrugged. "I had to escape. It was getting unbearable in there," she said.

Teagan chuckled. "Not enjoying the adoration of your faithful admirers?" She thought his smile faltered at the last word for a moment, but he shook it off and moved to join her at the wall.

"Hardly," Elissa said and turned to look out over Highever again. "Fergus means well, but I really could have done without this "Hero's Homecoming Celebration" or whatever nonsense he's called it."

"Heh. I saw the way the crowd engulfed you. I must say I don't envy you your celebrity."

"It's useful at times," she said with a wry smile. "Recruitment for the Wardens has been made marginally easier because of it. But overall, I must agree. Fame is highly overrated."

They paused then, and both looked out at the valley below. The silence between them seemed to grow and they shifted awkwardly, neither knowing quite how to proceed.

Finally Teagan said, "Forgive me for not mentioning it previously, my Lady Elissa, but you look…ravishing, this evening." Elissa felt her cheeks grow warmer and prayed that the light was too dim for him to notice. "I've…never seen you in a dress before," he finished.

Elissa snorted. "You have no idea how many times I've heard that tonight," she said. And then quickly added, "the part about my wearing a dress. Not the…um, ravishing part." She knew her cheeks were beet red by now.

Teagan leaned a little closer and said lowly, "I dare say it suits you well."

Elissa swallowed, finding it difficult to breathe. She dared not meet his gaze. Grasping for another topic, she said quickly, "I hear you're engaged to be married." She bit her lip once the words were out, wishing she could will them back in.

Teagan straightened and moved almost imperceptibly away from her. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Now that I'm an Arl…I mean…Kaitlyn is a lovely and respectable young woman." Though Elissa could tell he was aiming for a neutral tone, she could hear the distinct lack of enthusiasm in his voice.

"Well, you have my congratulations," she said formally. "I'm sure you two will have many happy years together." She looked at him when she was finished speaking, and her breath caught in her throat. He was staring at her intently. Whatever mask of polite civility he'd been wearing before was gone now.

Taking a step closer to her, he reached out and brushed her bare arm with his fingertips, sending chills down the left side of her body. "She was not my first choice, as you well know Elissa," he said quietly.

"You shouldn't say such things," she replied, but there was no heat in her words. She stared at the ground. Memories that she had been trying to suppress arose, unbidden to her mind's eye. _Teagan's naked chest pressing into her own, his mouth hungry against her neck, pinning her to the bed…_

"Why not?" he asked, stepping even closer. They were mere inches apart now. "It's true."

At that, Elissa regained her senses. "Funny, I don't recall you ever having asked," she said with sniff, and moved a few paces away from him. She turned her back to him and resumed staring out over the valley below.

"You never answered my letters," he said, though his voice lacked any accusation. "Though, I guess I didn't exactly expect a response. I suppose if even the King of Ferelden couldn't get a commitment from you, a lowly Bann such as myself wouldn't have a chance."

"Arl," Elissa corrected, confused. _Does he think I'm the one that broke things off with Alistair?_

She hadn't really heard the gossip surrounding herself and Alistair. She knew that people must have talked about them. They'd been a public couple up until the Landsmeet. She never really thought about what the common explanation for their breakup would be.

Again, memories unbidden surfaced. Alistair looking at Elissa sadly and saying words like "duty" and "sacrifice." She didn't want to remember that conversation. _Let the people think what they want._ The truth was rather more humiliating than she cared to admit.

"Maybe…" she said airily, hoping her voice didn't betray her emotions. "…maybe I'm not the type of woman men want to marry."

He crossed the distance between them in one long stride and stood inches behind her.

"Now, you know that's not true," he said tenderly, "Of course you're the type of woman men want to marry." He lightly traced his fingertips across her exposed back. "In fact," he said, "I daresay you're the type of woman men _go to war_ for."

Elissa closed her eyes and shuddered at his touch and his words. _Damn, but he knows how to tell a girl what she wants to hear_, she thought as she exhaled slowly. She gulped, and said in quiet whisper, "you don't say?"

"I do," he replied, and placed his hands on the wall on either side of her, effectively pinning her against it. She felt herself leaning backward—not quite of her own will. Teagan noticed her slight shift and pressed against her in return.

"I have never forgotten that night we shared," he said huskily into her hair. She felt his breath against her neck and the heat of it made her skin prickle. Of course, she had not forgotten that night either, for many reasons…

She had arrived at his room in Redcliffe castle in a frantic state, not quite believing her own audacity when he had answered the door and she'd shoved her way past him in a rush. She'd come with a single-minded purpose: _distraction._

She whirled to face him, and fought with herself to keep her face calm. "Got anything to drink?" she said in what she hoped was a casual tone.

Now that she was actually in his room she realized that she had no idea what she was doing. She'd never really had to seduce a man before. She'd rejected all her suitors in Highever and with Alistair it had been different…

_No,_she thought dully. _Don't think about that. Not now._

"I…have some wine that I was drinking," Teagan said. His eyes held a question in them but he seemed hesitant to ask. He poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her.

She took a big, awkward gulp of wine and then stood there, not knowing what to do next. She went to run her hand through her hair and then realized at the last second that she was still wearing her heavy plate gauntlets. Staring at her armored hand, she laughed and the note of hysteria in it caused Teagan to look at her sharply.

"My lady…" he began.

"Warden," Elissa corrected, setting her glass down and pulling off her gauntlets.

"Yes, of course, my la…warden," he said stepping closer. "Are you… alright?"

Elissa looked into Teagan's sea green eyes and saw the naked concern in them. This was not going as she'd planned.

_Sod subtlety_, she thought, and simply pulled him into a hungry kiss. He was stunned into stillness by it at first, but he responded eagerly enough after a few moments. She started fumbling with her armor straps trying not break contact with him when he pushed away for a moment to ask, "Are…are you quite sure about this? What about Alis—"

"Don't," Elissa said firmly, placing her hand over his mouth none too gently. "Don't say his name. And yes, I'm _quite_ sure." She pressed herself against him and kissed him hungrily again.

He hadn't needed much more prodding after that...

Teagan's lips on her exposed neck brought Elissa suddenly back to the present. He'd removed his left hand from the wall and was sliding it across the flat of her stomach, pulling her ever closer to him.

"Teagan," she whispered. She still hadn't opened her eyes. "We shouldn't…"

He sighed softly into her neck but didn't remove his lips from her skin. He brought his other hand away from the wall and delicately traced her collarbone with his finger.

"Why?" he murmured into her ear.

_So many reasons_, Elissa thought feverishly, but found she was unable to answer. That night they had shared had been amazing. After her bold opening moves their roles had shifted, and Teagan had taken command. With Alistair their lovemaking had always been sweet, but safe, and tender. With Teagan it had been…different.

He had been no Templar virgin, and seemed to know exactly where and how to touch her without her having to tell him. Whatever reason Teagan had for remaining unmarried for so long had nothing to do with his sexual prowess

Still, she had only meant to find herself a distraction for one night—she'd had no intention of starting a more serious relationship—she was through with those and besides, she was the Warden Commander now. She'd seen firsthand what the Wardens could do to a relationship.

As Teagan softly trailed kisses down her neck and shoulder, she tried to think about the sweet and innocent Kaitlyn.

"Because," she finally got out. "We shouldn't…"

_She deserves more,_Elissa thought, sluggishly.

But now Elissa found that the very wrongness of their actions was an insidious undertow to the wave of passion threatening to pull her under. Teagan wanted her—she could feel exactly how much as he pressed himself against her—so badly that he was willing to risk everything to be with her.

For some reason, she found that precise fact irresistible.

Teagan turned her to face him in one swift move, and crushed her lips with his own in a demanding kiss. As she lost herself in their embrace, Elissa thought again of Morrigan's advice to her that fateful night of the Landsmeet.

_Find a man…'tis not important who…and then once you have had your pleasure,__crush his heart…_

As she let her desires take over for her she pushed all thoughts of Morrigan and Alistair aside. She had only sense left to wonder whose heart would really be crushed when the fallout of her actions finally hit, before losing all of her wits to the touch of Teagan's hands on her body.


End file.
